


Will I Be Able to Shine for You?

by okkaykate



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Moon Taeil-centric, Multi, Polyamory, insecure!taeil, most of nct loosly mentioned, squint very hard for luwoo noremin markhyuck chensung johnyong and dojae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-10 08:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15945374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okkaykate/pseuds/okkaykate
Summary: Taeil's boyfriends are off on a trip to their home countries while he is stuck at home in Korea. Taeil feels cold and just wants warmth and to be around something comforting. Or more like someone. Two someones. Taeil in the process also feels guilty for missing his lovers though they miss him just as much. And he winds down to find himself lost and found again.





	Will I Be Able to Shine for You?

**Author's Note:**

> Alright so, this is pretty random and my first time writing for the general public I guess. My grammar may be off and the story may not make any sense, but I hope this can be enjoyable! I'm not sure if this will have more chapters or if it even really is decent enough to be posted but we'll see. I very loosely proofread this a lot of times. This is all over the place so my apologies. Originally this was supposed to be a simple fluffy one shot but it turned more depressing/sad? And there was supposed to be more flashbacks and backstory and connections, but this was all a whim and I enjoyed it, so please try to too!

His room felt empty, and yet he let himself feel suffocated once he woke. Their room was still full, filled with various figures and dvds, but two crucial figures to Taeil’s life were out of it (as well as a small section of hygienic supplies). Up early and gone like the wind all Taeil could remember was losing the bodily warmth around him and a few light kisses left on his cheek and lips as well as the tight squeeze of his hand. Then he had pulled all of the blankets onto himself with ease as there was no one else there to pull them from him.

It didn't fully hit him until he sat at lunch with no one accompanying him. He wasn't the best chef in the slightest and didn't find much reason for effort so he had resorted to ramen from the convenience store after his daily walk around Seoul. Winter had crept in quickly and his fingers felt ridged and numb as he picked at the noodles with his chopsticks. He basked in the heat and warmth of the meal, finding himself finished eating rather quicker than normal and his heart feeling a bit colder than usual as well.

Taeil was never too talkative, but he would always listen intently to others. Now there was no one near him and he could hear nothing but some shoveling noises from the light snow that glistened down last night covering the dark buildings and the cars whirling past since he had left his earbuds at home.

It hadn't snowed much last night but it was beautiful just as his lovers were. Taeil believed those people in his heart were some of the most gorgeous people he had ever come across in both heart and appearance. Angels who lived complicated lives and dealt with the harshness of society. The snow matched their elegance and beauty. Though last night those two stared at the snow in bewilderment as it fell softly, Taeil just watched the flakes drop over their heads and encase their being in a white bright ambiance that they had already possessed themselves naturally.

They had dinner together and on the way back in the darkness and moonlight the snow had fluttered down. Yuta had formed a snowball threateningly, Sicheng shielded himself behind Taeil the best he could with Taeil's shorter stature and had giggled. Then Yuta pulled them all together in a hug. Taeil had shifted his arm around the youngest so they were in a proper grouped hug and rested his head to the side over Yuta's shoulder facing the nape of his neck letting their warm frosty breaths mix.

Silence flowed over them as they had listened to each other's foggy breaths and let cold fingertips and noses lean against each other. Yuta had smiled and crushed the snowball in his hands behind the other's heads, letting the snowfall over the other two's necks from the slip between the back of their coats and bare skin. Luckily, Sicheng was wearing a scarf and most of the snow only hit Taeil's back and not his neck as much.

Yuta had let out a small hearty laugh and Sicheng whined a bit with a shy smile, but they all just pulled each other closer.

Of course that night the two had packed just a bit as they would only be gone for two days and one night. Though the two were excited and Taeil was excited for them too, Taeil couldn't help but feel a cold and unsettling shiver curve through him at the image of Sicheng and Yuta both packing up their things and he knew the chill he experienced wasn't simply from the cold. Though he had seen both of them pack up before when they were going on trips for NCT 127 at least Taeil would be with them on those trips. At least for 127 he knew they would be traveling together and be together, but this time they would both be away from him. He imagined all the scenarios and situations where this same type of thing could happen. Where they could leave. If something went wrong with SM or the group, or even if Taeil became too much for them and they found him a nuisance to their loving relationship. Taeil didn't feel as if he deserved them anyway and he didn't think they deserved to be with him for how slow and boring he was. In the end, he wondered if he would ever drive Yuta and Sicheng out for being too crazy or clingy or just simply not good enough. He would be left alone. He knew it was stupid and felt guilty for thinking that he somewhat needed to know where the two were at all times, but it always crawled at him. He didn't think he deserved them, but he still needed them if he wanted to be anything at all. Without them he was nothing, for themselves alone they were everything and amazing and beautiful. Fortunately, he calmed down once they had turned off the lights and he could encompass himself and know that they would be with each other for at least tonight before the following night approached.

Taeil began his way back to the dorms in a hurried walk almost fast enough to be considered a frisk jog. The bright sun shined and reflected off the remaining snow, blinding Taeil unpleasantly. Suddenly he felt dreadful and worry encased him as he thought about both of his boyfriends rapidly the next thought running over the next. When he returned back to the dorm he kicked off his shoes and rested his coat on the rack then hurried to their room. He sat at the desk and spun himself in the wheelie chair rapidly texting both of his loves. He texted them each once about if they got to the airport alright and if the flight was safe and if they had eaten and if they had gotten to their parents easily. Before Taeil could continue on his worries with heavy breaths and contemplating just calling them in case there was something really wrong or they were in trouble of some sort, Sicheng texted back immediately with a short reply confirming his safety. In the back of his head, Taeil wondered if it was fake as if Sicheng had been kidnapped and was put against his will for something or... Taeil attempted to take a deep breath in and closed his eyes to calm his nerves until his eyes shot open at another ding of a text notification, one from Yuta. "Oh thank god, Yuta. Jesus Christ you could have answered faster." He almost shouted to himself, letting out a huge breath and his eyes suddenly a bit watered from the intense motion he had laid upon himself but he took a breath and forced it to subside. He rapidly switched to see Yuta's reply in which he also confirmed his smooth plane ride and arrival at his parent's house. Taeil felt guilty again then about how he was their interrupting time with their families and how they could be busy dealing with their luggage. He could be ruining their time or just being a nuisance for them to remember that they would have to go away from their families again only to come back to short old Taeil. He also was evoked with the thought that he should not feel as if Yuta or Sicheng has to answer him. They were their own people with their own lives and Taeil just thought he was being too controlling to even be cared for himself.

Taeil tried to resist continuing to worry and simply just put in his earbuds that lied on the desk plugging them in to listen to some music to calm his instincts. He closed his eyes and breathed again as he listened to his playlist starting. Taeil opened his eyes once his heart had rested just slightly. He reached for his phone and decided to distract himself with the media as well. Most articles were stupid and only rumors so he opted for social media as the more cleansing and interesting option. Taeil went through his Instagram he had started when he was 16. He never posted much of anything or was a very social person in high school either, but he had gained access to most of the accounts of his high school classmates. He saw various pictures, old and new, and watched as he saw his former classmate's lives change. He was 24 now so he assumed most of them had a stable job and degree of some sort, but he was still shocked when he saw that a few of his classmates had been in very serious relationships and others still single as ever and all seeming quite well off. Granted, Taeil never really dated in high school either and now he had two of his group mates as his lovers, but that didn't matter to him at the moment. Instead, he just saw how beautiful and handsome his classmates had become, and those who were already very good looking stayed that way and looked maturer. Meanwhile, Taeil could seem like a child with baggy pants and unproportionate features with the excitement of an elderly man in his own eyes.

He rolled his neck as it felt achy after hours of staring and reading. He crunched his toes as he felt the stress build in him once again. He gave up college for singing, for NCT. He didn't regret it. He never did, but he wondered what he would be like. If the stylists didn't give him nice makeup and hair and trendy clothing, would he be even considered as a member by the public? Taeil put his phone down a bit roughly and sighed. He thought to call his younger sister so he could tell her how he was feeling, but he didn't want to worry her. The foreign members had all gone out to their home countries except for Johnny and Mark as it just wasn't deemed worth it for just two days as the timing would be very slim meeting them anyway. Mark missed his parents a lot, but he understood the reasoning. Taeil lived in Seoul so he could see his parents a lot, so he never thought this type of chance should be anything he should even consider. He would feel selfish for taking the opportunity. Plus he also wasn't as young as some of the other members. Most of the other Korean members who lived close to Seoul would decide to visit or stay behind based on their personal preference.

Taeil walked out of his room, wanting to get air away from his own recycled air. The clock had scrambled down to the later part of the afternoon. His brain felt empty and he had nowhere to dump or fill the emptiness. He sat on the couch and awaited to see anyone pass through the main room. He hadn't had any physical conversation all day and though that could be amazing if he wanted alone time, he still wanted to say something or anything. Luckily, soon after his own entrance to the living room, Doyoung entered to grab something to eat Taeil guessed. "Hey," Doyoung simply spoke in passing.

It was simple, but for some reason, it sounded a bit odd to him and he felt a bit outcasted. "Hey," He responded, feeling the hesitance in his own voice "you doing anything right now?"

Doyoung shook his head a bit and faced him. "No, not really. I was just gonna get something to eat. What's up?" Bingo. Taeil smiled a bit and then stretched out his legs a bit.

"Could we share something and eat together?" Taeil asked simply and stood a little abruptly which made Doyoung blink just a bit.

"Oh, yeah, what are you hungry for?" Doyoung responded almost instantly with a curt nod.

Taeil made a slight thoughtful sound. "Actually should we just order chicken for everyone or should we just have any leftovers?"

Doyoung gave his bunny smile and responded. "Definitely chicken. We should get three or four boxes and then see if any of them want any because there are still eleven of us here. I'll pay, so don't worry about it." Doyoung then immediately turned around and pulled out his phone, ordering. Taeil was thankful for Doyoung and his classic habits. He wondered if Doyoung could sense Taeil's loneliness illuminating off from him. The answer? He could.

Once they were all gathered with the newly arrived chicken Taeil still felt a bit disconnected and off, but positively not as much as previously. Being around them reminded him that other people were also missing their pairs. Lucas was off in China while Jungwoo still was perfectly his own unique self. He recalled Lucas who was laughing and shouting in excitement who would always be told to be just a little quieter and Jungwoo would control him minimally and Lucas would listen but still be just as content with speaking with an indoor voice. The pair was sweet and endorsed in a simple type of affection. Taeil liked the combination's dynamics. Though Lucas was probably screaming his head off in China right now and probably got a complaint from the neighbors.

Taeil found himself wondering about how he himself was sometimes too quiet for his own good. It sometimes gave off wrong impressions and he wasn't naturally alluring like Sicheng or charming like Yuta. He was just himself. He glanced toward Jisung of which his partner in crime, Chenle, was of course in China as well with his decently wealthy family. Jisung was pretty quiet too, but at least he knew when to strike. The boy could dance and was eight years younger than Taeil. Jisung always impressed him and always ascended all levels of expectation. He was simply amazing. He and Chenle were the best of friends if anything and Taeil couldn't imagine himself being able to connect with people so subtly yet quickly.

Jaehyun was a gem who was pretty much an all-rounder along with Taeyong and Johnny and others. They all are exquisite and amazing at everything they do. Doyoung is intelligent, has a soothing voice, and is responsible while Taeil is a little bit of a mess. Kun deserves more than him with all the work he has put forth to get to this point. He would trade all his lines and spots for Sicheng, Yuta, Johnny, Donghyuck, Kun, anyone. He just filled up all his time over the years doing what he loves, but he also isn't good enough in what he does and is.

Then the inseparable trio from the 00' line. Of course, Donghyuck was there too, but he seemed to prefer to shine with the giggly Canadian boy. Renjun was in China, but he still seemed to keep in touch well with Jaemin and Jeno, and though they were separated they still seemed tight as ever. The young ones were charming and talented, and Taeil couldn't even imagine being described in anything similar in the slightest especially not at such a young age as them. He was the oldest so of course, he was respected. It was the law of nature, but without his status wouldn't he be lowest on the totem pole? Hansol had left long ago so he was left alone at the top age-wise, but at least Hansol had such amazing dancing skills and visuals that it isn't surprising he can be respected wherever he goes.

Wherever he looked he saw someone better than him and it hurt. He felt something crawl up his throat and he felt like he couldn't breathe almost. When could he be okay? He could have sworn he wasn't always like this. Why does he feel this way? Taeil felt the need to retreat and never come out as his pride could never handle the thought of being useless and a burden to the team.

They finished the meal with Taeil feeling exponentially confused and horrible about himself. He sat for a little while and with a tap on his shoulder he looked up to see Doyoung looking at him with eyes colored with brown and filled with somberness. "Hey, do you wanna talk or anything?"

Of course, Taeil could say no. He'd understand, but Doyoung is one of the people he trusts most and Doyoung always knows what's best. Taeil gave a tight-lipped smile and nodded. "Please, just in a bit."

They glided onto the couch and the sun had begun to set. The Dreamies said they'd go to the park for a bit of fun, so they left and of course, Taeyong reminded them of the latest they could be out and went into his room as did the others as well. Everyone else seemed to go to their own devices. Johnny and Jaehyun decided to watch a movie and asked Taeil and Doyoung if they would like to watch as all crowded onto the couch, but they both declined with Doyoung simply replying ambiguously. "Maybe later."

They moved to Taeil, Winwin, and Yuta's room. He saw his abandoned phone face down on his desk still and couldn't help but let the panic threaten to rise in him again, but he tried to be calm and just picked it up to check and see if there were any messages. Sicheng had asked how he was and Yuta asked if he ate. Taeil responded softly in their group chat together and then simply texted them if they were tired and told them he hoped they have a good time. Doyoung clearly knew what this conversation would generally be about, or at least Taeil knew what this would be generally about as Doyoung had actually asked Taeil if they could talk first and Doyoung wasn't one to talk so privately about his own situations. Doyoung wasn't dumb enough to not notice Taeil expression either, earlier or now. They sat on the bed across from each other with crossed legs and Taeil leaned against the wall. "So..." Doyoung began as they sat across from each other. "Do you wanna start or should I?" Taeil for a moment felt as if he was on trial in court and about to be questioned on the stand for witnessing a murder his love had committed. He didn't know if it was right to tell the truth and defy the wishes of his lover, or if he should cover his tracks even though it was already very obvious who did it and he's not allowed to lie.

"You start," Taeil stated and crunched his toes together nervously.

"Alright, so do you wanna tell me why you look so... Out of it?" Doyoung tried his best to be kind, and he was, but it also pained Taeil just a bit. He knew Doyoung probably would have some sense of the answer already but he might as well just say everything.

"I feel..." Taeil looked off to the side and Doyoung followed his gaze, giving him time. Taeil appreciated it, he really, truly did. "I feel like I'm not good enough." He choked a bit on his words as he already felt some tears start to swell. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "For Sicheng and Yuta, the team, the public, my family, everyone really. I mean I'm the oldest but I'm not as mature as you or Taeyong or Kun and I'm not as skilled socially or in singing or dancing and I feel like it's not fair to everyone else either." Taeil sighed, picking at his nails. "L-Like I see other people my age and they're so good looking and successful and I'm not good at anything or confident in myself. I mean even if I'm not the best looking I should at least have something good to me but... It just seems like I don't. And, honestly, I feel useless without _them_. I know it's immature and I should be independent but I'm just scared. I don't want to be alone. The kids handle this kind of stuff better than me. The kids are so amazing and you all are so talented and responsible and I just don't feel like I'm any of those things... It's just difficult for me to be here but be so useless and such a burden."

Taeil looked down at the bed sheets, trying to pick at something that wasn't there. He breathed deeply and awaited a response.

Doyoung listened and took it in, letting out a breath himself. "Taeil, I think that if you feel this way..." Taeil slowly tensed as the phrase went on with the fear and worried feelings of what Doyoung would recommend. He wondered if the prospect of leaving would be what he would say, he wondered if he would say he should see someone, he wondered if he would say he was insane or too old or just too ugly and he couldn't change anything and he was a lost cause. That he wasted his education and time and all his feelings because he would never be good enough.

Doyoung opened his mouth a bit taken aback and about to speak, but he closed his mouth which put on a sad expression. "Taeil," He breathed and moved forward and pulled Taeil into an embrace. "I don't want to be a shit friend and I know you're serious about this, but I think you should talk to Sicheng and Yuta about this." He paused, and Taeil calmed his mind at the suggestion but he also had a tinge of nervousness left. Immediately at the embrace he softened and held his friend back tightly, pushing his face half into his shoulder. He made a quick nod and held his lips together tightly as water swirled around in his eyes again, fixing his gaze on the pattern of the sheets as his mind whirled. How could he doubt his friend? How could he think he could ever give this up? "Ya know? You're talented too and everyone looks up to you I hope you know that you make us stronger. I know they're not here to speak for themselves but they love you so much Taeil, you're worth everything to them. And you're worth everything to this team."

Doyoung pulled away from the hug just a bit and shook his bangs to the side a bit and looked at Taeil whose nose was colored a slight red and he sniffled, breathing and gulping down his threatening tears. "Do you... Understand?" Doyoung tried with shaky uncertainty.

Taeil gave a slight nod and his features contorted as the tears threatened once more and his breath hitched a bit almost alike a hiccup. "Yes, Doyoung. I-I will talk to them when they get back or when I can talk to them both together, I will." He rambled a bit and pulled at his own fingers then running a hand through his hair quickly. Doyoung gave a small smile and Taeil smiled delicately and weakly towards him. "Thank you."

They hugged once more and Doyoung asked if Taeil wanted to watch the movie with them in the living room. Taeil considered it but then felt that he actually just wanted to relax by himself for a bit. He liked movies but assuming Jaehyun and Johnny would probably choose an action, horror, or crude humorous English film he wouldn't understand he went against it. He also usually stayed up late in his room when he had the opportunity though most of the time accompanied by Sicheng and Yuta. Doyoung said he would watch the movie with Jaehyun and Johnny referencing the offer from earlier and that they would probably make some popcorn. He told Taeil he would grab him some if he got the chance. Taeil was thankful when Doyoung arrived with a giant bowl of popcorn for Taeil and Taeil only. He subtly said his thanks and Doyoung explained what had occurred so far. When he got there, Johnny and Jaehyun had pulled Taeyong out from his pit of gaming, well Johnny specifically he assumed, and they were watching a horror movie of course with varying shout and screams. Taeyong said he would only watch until the kids got back to the dorms, but they got back around 30 minutes after he said to be back as he was too busy hiding himself in the couch and Johnny's tall body from the murderer to actually notice. He apologized for taking so long with the popcorn as once the kids came back they all wanted some and Doyoung became their resident popcorn maker even though they were very capable of making it for themselves. After that Doyoung said his goodbye and a bit of a good night before resorting back to his spot on the couch next to Jaehyun and the scared to death Taeyong. Doyoung acted like the movie wasn't scary at all but his and Taeyong's shouts indicated he was just bluffing and it reminded Taeil of their time in the haunted house in Osaka and he smiled. It was scary. And it was also amazing.

As the night progressed the sounds varied from screaming on his one side and chaotic laughs on his other through the walls as well as complete silence at some times or even blasted music. Taeil laid in his own space and thought about thankful he is for these people around him, even the people who weren't there at the time. Chewing on his popcorn he relaxed and let his mind swirl in the aura that he was surrounded by those who cared for him. And that was enough. And he felt he was enough.

Sicheng and Yuta had replied that they weren't too tired but just a little and had been having a good time. Taeil sent a quick message of happiness and then rested his phone to continue watching his videos and continuing his scrolling as the cold night set in and he pulled the blanket over himself with the moon being the only light for him as the other lights of his life were out brightening up other people's days and nights. Though the sun had faded the moon stood tall and reliable in its stance, and Moon Taeil let it absorb his attention as he watched it stare back at him and the stars sparkle within the darkness of their own world. So far away were the stars from Earth but they still shined for those tiny little specs on Earth, and they graced people with their beauty for no cost. Though they were simple bright lights with nothing too special, they were mesmerizing.

Taeil retired himself to the yearning feeling to sleep as his eyes drooped as the clock’s digits became to grow higher and then start over again and the moon slowly had dipped lower than it had been previously. He leaned back with a sigh and looked around his dark room wondering what he planned to do tomorrow. In the end, he let his mind drift as he thought of reuniting with his pair and being able to receive the warmth next to him tomorrow night and being able to tell them goodnight and I love you in person. With the image of them, he fell asleep in serenity and surrounded by the euphoria of his own thoughts.

 *

Taeil awoke to silence other than the still subtle booming of music from his earbuds that had fallen out while he had fallen asleep. He groaned slightly as he felt the embrace of the bright sun greet him through where the moon had last night. Though he usually liked the presence of a drowsy sunlight that dusted the room, having it focused on bursting his eyelids open was unpleasant for the time being. He breathed out slowly and groaned as he stretched his arms out in the blankets. The young man checked the time which simply brought to him a sigh as the time was simply 9:53 in the morning. Of course accompanied by the time on his phone was a very minimal amount notifications and texts. Taeil rolled his wrists and ankles continuously and cleared his throat from it’s morning grumpiness.

Siting up the exhaustion set in just slightly, but he stood and made his way to the bathroom as he could recall many other times years ago where he was used to such a tiredness and even sometimes now. He washed his face and wondered whether to take a shower then or later, but then just laid back down after grabbing a small bag of chips. He rubbed his face and ate as he watched a movie on his phone and almost fell back asleep. Today just seemed to be his lazy day, alone and self-doubting. His eyes felt dry and his bones seemed to ache with stiffness.

Soon, Sicheng texted Taeil to remind him that he would conveniently be arriving almost exactly near the same time Yuta would in Seoul, but Taeil didn’t bother to respond. Yes, he knew and he cared, but they would be together then and it would just cause trouble to meet with them. He wouldn’t want to ask for a favor from SM and they already had enough members returning in one car. Not to mention the hectic atmosphere of the airport made Taeil nervous and he simply would rather see them when they came home. The singer shifted in his bed and made a bit of a mess, but who cared really. He could get it later and he didn’t have any immediate responsibilities. Later, when they arrived after various texts, Taeil felt himself gain subtle excitement again as he felt himself turn back to that night again where the flakes fell and the beauty between them and his lovers was a blurred line. He cherished it and felt his heart pound as he smiled cheekily to himself. He knew they arrived by the opening of the door, the shouting, and clammed chatter as well as most notably Lucas and Chenle’s screams and laughs. Clearly, Taeil’s presence was absent in the main room and after greetings he heard the door open and he braced himself for some kind of blow or truth he wasn’t sure of but was surprised by a wail of brightness and smiles of happiness.

He was so shocked his expression almost looked petrified. Taeil simply hummed as the young men grouped him up into an embrace and Yuta’s healing smile sent him to a feeling similar to looking at the iridescent northern lights which lit up his smile accompanied by Sicheng’s rapid excited and slurred Korean atoned to the fact that he had been speaking the smooth and sharp Mandarin language back home. Sicheng seemed out of breath as he spoke and held Taeil close, immediately snuggling into his neck and Yuta grabbing his one hand and sitting next to Taeil on the bed. “Hey, hey- slow down.” He spoke warmingly with a sheepish smile and brought his unheld hand up to brush Sicheng’s hair.

Yuta’s voice and Korean was still solid and soothing of which Taeil found alluring and impressive as he voiced out a bit of his own travels. Taeil loved the warmth he felt between the two and felt like his heart started beating again at the sight of them. Still unpacked and next to him they rested simply listening to each other, and Taeil felt so thankful for them that he found himself staring at each of them that neither had noticed until it had been a full on straight three minutes and there was nothing more to say. Staring with his mouth slightly open as he stared at them he felt his eyes tear up until he pulled away his gaze with a shy and wavering smile to the floor.

“Ahh…” Taeil breathed out retracting his hands and wiping his eyes with a small chuckle. Yuta’s expression immediately contorted in a look of empathy and comfort while Sicheng simply looked up from Taeil’s neck with a clueless and worried countenance. He then looked up and at their expressions he shook his head a bit with slightly wide eyes. “I’m okay, I’m okay, don’t worry.”

Yuta rested his warm hand upon Taeil’s cheek with a wavering gaze and Sicheng gripped onto Taeil’s shirt. Murmurs of his name and the casual ‘baby’ made Taeil hum. Once Taeil had calmed his emotions a bit and tugged them tighter Yuta slightly cleared his throat and glanced at Sicheng before speaking. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked trying to reel into the situation delicately.

Taeil looked up and off as his emotions began to crawl back up his throat. He couldn’t pretend or lie in front of these two, but he was okay with being vulnerable with them. Taeil trusted them and loved them and he just felt the need to tell them. It wasn't a lie and he definitely wasn't pretending, it was just the short of it, and the most important part to Taeil. He stood straighter and tried to find his voice. “I, I just love you both-” He cleared his throat himself as he felt himself getting caught and the pitch of his voice going up. “I love you both so damn much.” 

_Drip._

_Murmurs._

The man gave a weary smile and let it all unravel as his two pillars immediately supported him, entirely holding up all the weight he had put onto himself.

_Drips._

_Kisses._

And so they built him up again.

_Silence._

And he was complete.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for getting this far!! If you have any questions or anything you would like to tell me please comment!


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